let’s panic when it snows » Braden's Corner Of The Net

Winter Storm Warning Equals Panic

Jan 212012

The Southwestern Pennsylvania area must have the biggest wimps imaginable when it comes to our meteorologists.

All day yesterday and well into the evening, they were all issuing a “winter storm warning” for the area. Most of it was to hit harder South, which is the opposite of what happened several days ago when the Northern areas got hit the hardest. Well, I took a peek outside, expecting to see my car at least covered enough to satisfy the local news media’s ongoing, panic-stricken prediction.

This is what I saw:

I don’t know about you all, but I had better stay home all day long.
After all, I don’t want to be caught in the middle of this massive Winter storm warning.

This is just another reason to dismiss the science of meteorology as nothing more than total bullshit science.

One would think that with all of their fancy radar, and expensive equipment, they will at least be correct enough to measure up to their own terror-stricken foretelling(s).

Oh No! Snow!

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Jan 132012

In recognition of today’s snowfall in Western Pennsylvania, I’d like to take this opportunity to post this:

It’s snowing! Oh no! It’s cold! Oh no! What do I do? Do I listen to the radio? Should I shovel out my car? Is it safe to shovel out my car? Are the windows frozen? What if the windows are frozen? How do I get the ice off of them? Should I check the windshield washer fluid level? Oh no! It’s snowing! Should I go to the store? Do we need toilet paper, bread, and soup? Will we have enough? What if we get snowed in? What if my neighbor falls on my icy sidewalk? Will he or she sue me? What if everything freezes and a tree falls down on my house? What do I do? Oh no! It’s snowing! Should I drive my car slow? Should I drive my car fast? Should I drive at all? Should I think about talking on the cellular phone while driving? Should I think at all? Please tell me how to dress properly! Also, could you tell me how to shovel my sidewalk? I don’t know how! Is it safe to think? Should I buy some salt for my sidewalk? Should I buy some salt to keep in my car? Should I buy a shovel, too? Is it too cold to go outside? Should I pack an emergency kit in my car, just in case? What if I get stranded somewhere? Can I eat the snow if there is no water around? Will I get sick and die? What about black ice? Should I be worried about black ice? Should I be worried about the road conditions? Am I capable of driving in treacherous weather conditions? Am I capable of driving on treacherous road conditions? Should I be worried about that? Should I watch the news and see what they have to say? Oh no! It’s snowing again! What do I do? Should I be in a state of panic? If not, why aren’t I? Should I rake off my roof if there’s too much snow on it? Should I go sled riding? Is that too dangerous? What if my son hits someone on his sled going down a steep snowy hill? Isn’t that dangerous? Should I check with the news on that? Should I invest in extra light bulbs because it’s snowing? What do I do? I’m helpless! Is it safe to bake bread if it is snowing outside? Will that contribute to global warming? Is this snow being caused by global warming? Oh God, please tell me. Is it cold out? Should I pour boiling water on my sidewalk to melt the ice? I’d better check to see what they say about that on the news and radio. Is it safe to watch “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer” if it’s snowing? What about “Frosty The Snowman?” Is it safe? Are you sure? What do I do? I know, I’ll check the news, they can tell me! Oh no! It’s snowing again! Dear God, what do I do? I’m helpless! Should I fill up the gas tank in my car since it’s cold out? Will my gas tank freeze if I don’t fill it up? Should I winterize my car? What about the windshield wipers? Are they safe? I’d better watch the news! How cold is it? Wait! I think I hear sleet hitting the windows! Oh no! Should I stay off the roads? Can I go out driving? Is it too cold to go out? How should I dress? Should I wear multiple layers? I just don’t know what to do! Help me, please! Where’s that damn remote when I need it! After all, God knows if it’s snowing, I’m a helpless human being who cannot think on his own.

This gets more and more true each and every single time I repost it.

The Infamous Snow Post

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Jan 082010

It’s snowing! Oh no! It’s cold! Oh no! What do I do? Do I listen to the radio? Should I shovel out my car? Is it safe to shovel out my car? Are the windows frozen? What if the windows are frozen? How do I get the ice off of them? Should I check the windshield washer fluid level? Oh no! It’s snowing! Should I go to the store? Do we need toilet paper, bread, and soup? Will we have enough? What if we get snowed in? What if my neighbor falls on my icy sidewalk? Will he or she sue me? What if everything freezes and a tree falls down on my house? What do I do? Oh no! It’s snowing! Should I drive my car slow? Should I drive my car fast? Should I drive at all? Should I think about talking on the cellular phone while driving? Should I think at all? Please tell me how to dress properly! Also, could you tell me how to shovel my sidewalk? I don’t know how! Is it safe to think? Should I buy some salt for my sidewalk? Should I buy some salt to keep in my car? Should I buy a shovel, too? Is it too cold to go outside? Should I pack an emergency kit in my car, just in case? What if I get stranded somewhere? Can I eat the snow if there is no water around? Will I get sick and die? What about black ice? Should I be worried about black ice? Should I be worried about the road conditions? Am I capable of driving in treacherous weather conditions? Am I capable of driving on treacherous road conditions? Should I be worried about that? Should I watch the news and see what they have to say? Oh no! It’s snowing again! What do I do? Should I be in a state of panic? If not, why aren’t I? Should I rake off my roof if there’s too much snow on it? Should I go sled riding? Is that too dangerous? What if my son hits someone on his sled going down a steep snowy hill? Isn’t that dangerous? Should I check with the news on that? Should I invest in extra light bulbs because it’s snowing? What do I do? I’m helpless! Is it safe to bake bread if it is snowing outside? Will that contribute to global warming? Is this snow being caused by global warming? Oh God, please tell me. Is it cold out? Should I pour boiling water on my sidewalk to melt the ice? I’d better check to see what they say about that on the news and radio. Is it safe to watch "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer" if it’s snowing? What about "Frosty The Snowman?" Is it safe? Are you sure? What do I do? I know, I’ll check the news, they can tell me! Oh no! It’s snowing again! Dear God, what do I do? I’m helpless! Should I fill up the gas tank in my car since it’s cold out? Will my gas tank freeze if I don’t fill it up? Should I winterize my car? What about the windshield wipers? Are they safe? I’d better watch the news! How cold is it? Wait! I think I hear sleet hitting the windows! Oh no! Should I stay off the roads? Can I go out driving? Is it too cold to go out? How should I dress? Should I wear multiple layers? I just don’t know what to do! Help me, please! Where’s that damn remote when I need it! After all, God knows if it’s snowing, I’m a helpless human being who cannot think on his own.

I love it.